Today I have lsot a person very dear to me I got a phone call about 2 hours ago and even though this is very private infamily relation stuff i need to post it to make my self feel better im weird i know. But the phone call i got was that my cousin my closest and dearest cousin in italy killed her self... I have never been so emotional in my whole life i... i dont know what to feel really... it makes me wonder if theres even a point to it sometimes...why do people do these thigns why do they hurt others why cant we call just get along? i just want closure i wana know why why she felt that that was her only opion why did she do it how vould i have help i feel like i am to blame but idk i wish i could ahve been there for her... I am going to take a few personal days away form the interent to clear my head when i get back ill let you all know...

thank you for understanding...